|
| Time: | 2:26 am. |
| Mood: |  I meant cold as in unfeeling. |
|
I'm really angry right now. I'm really disappointed too. Enough lip-service, I wanna see change. I don't want to hear about it; I want to see it. I want to see people stand up for something even though it's uncomfortable and inconvenient. I don't think it's fair to have to cater to a bad attitude, or a temper tantrum (that's actually humorous coming from me). I don't think excuses do any one any good either. I'm being a little heavy handed about this whole process but dancing around the issue and assuming that things will get better if we all keep our mouths shut doesn't seem to be having an effect.
And I'm going to post this here. I want everyone to see it, you don't have to read it but I'd like you to see. I'm doing what I should have done the first time my sister turned into a puddle. I would ask that anyone that's ever come to my house, and cried on my Allie's shoulder to post a little something 'cause she's feeling real alone for standing up for herself.
__________________________cutting is for goths
You're hurting her.
I am sick of it.
Whether or not you feel as though you are a work in progress you treat my little sister like dirt. You don't have an excuse, it was thoughtless and cruel what you did and unfortunately it is par for the course. Obvious try to incite? How about your obvious try to seem deep and philosophical? So what, Allie gets to look like a mental retard? Like she's too immature to handle your emotional development? I'll tell you what's difficult to swallow- reading a post that sounds like the writer swallowed the curriculum to psych 1000.
And I'm not saying my Allie's a saint. She most definitely is a hermit; she could call out every now and then; she could do more. Of course working 60+ hours a week- yeah that's work those cute little drawings- not having a car and generally feeling ostracized do put a damper on one's social ability. But then again, she would crawl through broken glass if she thought it would make you like her again. To illustrate, and I'm so mad at her for this, she apologized to you for making plans with her best friend. Ah hello? Someone she's known for years that she sees maybe once a month, I think you should be a little more respectful. You don't include her every time you and Remy have lunch.
It's a shame because you're really cool to hang out with. I do like you- but I don't like the way you treat people. I don't like the fact that my sister has to feel like she needs your approval in order to hang out with her friends. It may all be in her head, God knows what else is in there I wouldn't be surprised. All I know for certain is you are hurting her.
HURTING.
You don't need to help people; you're not a psychologist you're a student. You're not her mom, you're not her aunt, or her big sister (thank you very much). You are making a really bizarre situation worse. You make her feel dumb. You make her feel unimportant. You make her feel like a second class friend. And you do it regularly. I refuse to believe that you are unaware of this. But then again, maybe you were as no one, not one other member of the circle has stood by her. By the way, where's the cavalry? Standing around telling you that Allie will come around, she's just - what PMSing? 'Cause you know how she gets.
Leave her alone. If you didn't get it before, maybe you get it now. I'm not joking. I'm not pulling an impressive temper tantrum either, you are fucking with my sister's head and I will not let you do that any more. She actually asked me if this was normal. Is it? That's rhetorical, don't answer that part.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
|
| Time: | 1:18 am. |
| Mood: |  groggy. |
|
I've decided that I really want to start taking commission work again- sorta. I don't really want to fuck with costumes right now, what I'm thinking is clothing pieces (jackets and dresses and things) and sell them as a sort of made-to-order service. I have no ideas on how to do this (I guess I could go through etsey.com or post notices on deviantart or something like that). That's kind of what the green dress was all about, I'm focusing right now on creating a pattern library in common sizes that can be scaled up or down if necessary. I figure by this summer I'll have enough resources to launch a little e-store or something similar. Although ideally fall would be better because I won't have access to good fabric stores in the summer.
I'm kinda sleepy right now- I've been trying to work on illustrator and goddamnit it sucks! I'm going to have to bust my ass tomorrow to get all my work for friday.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
| Time: | 5:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  awesome. |
|
I QWIT MY INTERNSHIP!
Yes it's true, I stayed for six weeks and today called to say "do not want". Me quiting is actually not true, I was only signed on for six weeks and this marks the end of my contract. BUT AM I GOING BACK FOR MORE- FUCK NO!
the screwed up thing, when I tried to do my boss the courtesy of calling and telling her "thank you for the opportunity blah, blah, blah" she screened my calls! This grown woman wouldn't pick up the phone in her own office! what a pussy.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
| Time: | 10:49 am. |
| Mood: |  pooooo!. |
|
I'm having a really bad morning. I was up at five(not the bad part) drawing technical flats for my project(not the bad part) and waiting until the internship office opened up(still not the bad part). Obviously I'm still having issues with the crazy woman that I'm working for so I opted to talk to one of the counselors that work in the career center for some good advice. So 9 am rolls around, I'm feeling pretty accomplished I got all my work done- for some reason I just feel good when I wake up really early to work- and I give the office a call. The lady on the other tells me "no we really can't help you with an independent internship" then she drops a bomb in my lap, "are you getting paid? you know that it's illegal to work without getting paid.(that would be the bad part)"
what? interns don't get paid- they get experience, right? WRONG! Turns out that an unpaid internship is only legal if the intern is participating in a degree or certificate program that requires the student to receive on the job vocational training. So if I was getting college credit for working for the megabitch, all would be good; but because I'm not going through the school she has to pay me. I even looked it up on the department of labor's website.
So I'm feeling pretty stupid right now. Needless to say I'm not going in on Wednesday. I'm waiting to hear back from a different counselor to see whether or not I should file a complaint with the labor board and what else I can do to save my ass- yeah it's pretty much a crap filled day from here on out.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Saturday, March 1st, 2008
|
|
|
So I'm researching current trends for my draping project- a creative dolman, huzzah- and I'm seeing alot of really great knit shapes from last fall and this spring brimming with moral superiority as they are made with bamboo fibers. Yay bamboo, highly sustainable, beautiful and soft to the senses, and best of all easy on the environment; what more can you ask for? Tons actually. One of things I've noticed about these bamboo garments(not all of them) is that the bamboo fibers are usually "cut" with other fibers. This is a common practice, manufacturers mix less expensive fibers in with the more expensive ones all the time. But what really bothers me is the viscose. Viscose is a form of rayon, it's a synthetic fiber made from wood pulp and it's insanely polluting to produce. Like so polluting it's not even legal to make viscose in this country- the EPA won't let them. Well you can guess my surprise at seeing this suposedly "green" bamboo fabric with a viscose chaser. I guess a little bamboo is better than none, but I can't help but feel a little snookered over the whole thing.
What I really wonder though is are the amount of bamboo fibers displacing the need for viscose enough to actually have a positive impact on the environment? I'm thinking "not this early in the game".
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Friday, February 29th, 2008
|
| Time: | 10:41 pm. |
| Mood: |  busy. |
|
i hate illustrator. that program is a such a pain in the ass. i suppose with practice I'll be a wizard- but for now it takes me almost 20 minutes to draw a flat (a plain, no color detail picture of a garment). rarrrgh!
brighter news- it's snowing like crazy outside. I didn't want to go to max's in the shit weather so i'm staying in tonight and doing my homework. I made a dress today too. i'm not sure if i like it- it was alot more cute in the catalog picture, maybe I made it too wide. (my classmates thought it was adorable.) I think the problem is that I made the center pleat wider than the picture...hmmm I can always rip it and redo the collar again- blargh.
that's what i made, but my wool is a deep aqua color and i've got a cute piece of trim for the collar.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
|
| Time: | 2:29 am. |
| Mood: | tired. |
|
I CAN'T SLEEP. I went to be more than four hours ago, to no avail. I just got done with some drawing homework, (an egyptian inspired cocktail dress and evening gown) and i'm thinking i want a shower now.
I was sick all weekend. I ordered a pair of expensive shoes. I have no clear thought pattern.
|
|
1 traumatized feline - Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Monday, February 18th, 2008
|
|
|
I don't know why but I'm hungry.
Like I'm ravenous, and could eat an entire pizza by myself hungry. I don't think there's anything wrong, but I've been like this for two days now. Actually this has been happening off and on since classes started. I think it's just that I've haven't been taking in enough calories to compensate for the amount of energy I'm expending. I have been doing a whole lot more physical activity then normal.
Food wise though, I'm trying something interesting right now. I have on some grits, and instead of cooking them in plain water, I'm using beef flavoured bouillon. And I cracked an egg into the mix. It's pretty edible. Kinda tastes like ramen noodles while smelling like wet dogs. My concept here is to come up with breakfast foods that are super carbohydrate intense with some form of protein involved to avoid that mid-afternoon "I feel like crap" fest. Or in this case I'm apparently starving to death and need food to carry me through the evening. Despite the fact that grits are pretty nasty, I love the energy rush- it lasts forever!
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
|
| Time: | 9:15 pm. |
| Mood: |  scared. |
|
I'm having a bad day. Well all things considered it's a good day because the boss woman called in sick and I didn't get yelled at or verbally abused (usually she yells at me seriously while questioning my intelligence at least once a day, so that's like twice a week and it sucks). But it was bad because her assistant (he does basically the same stuff i do and paperwork- he gets screamed at which must mean she likes him more) picked a fight with her and quit. He was basically the medium that stood between myself and the horrible might that is Paris(yeah that's her name, you'll understand in a minute). So all of a sudden she's calling the office and trying to get my opinions and leaning a lot harder on me and it's scary. I don't dislike this job, I'm scared of it.
This woman terrifies me. I was excited to apply for the internship because I read her bio and found out she was from Texas. Texans are friendly and they barbeque on the backs of their pickup trucks- not her. She didn't receive those instructions. Don't get me wrong, I expected her to be strict; it is a business after all. She'll go from acting like a boss, to acting like a girl-friend, to just being a bitch. And I can't figure out how to draw out the positive aspects and avoid the negatives. Actually that's not true, if I stay completely silent, agree with whatever she says and attend to every detail of my job perfectly without having to refer to her for more information then she seems to be pleased. But I'm scared that I'll mess up or that I don't understand, so I turn into a complete dummyshit and then the screaming commences.
The bright side? I only have 3 more weeks of this. Another bright side? I have learned so many neat couture techniques, I am at least twice the seamstress I was when I started.
I wanna act like a spoiled little bitch for valentine's day. But Max would think it's a joke and it wouldn't work. damn these smart men.
10 things I love with an "S" (remy tagged me, even though i made her feel like poo, sorry rem!)
1 Sushi
2 Skating (on ice. so that when i fall, i get a bruise and a wet butt!)
3 Shoes (this actually goes on the "10 things i'm addicted to" list)
4 Sleep (i'm really not doing good on this score)
5 Street Vendors! (always such great deals on stuff I shouldn't buy)
6 Sex (usually i'm more of a pervert but today i have my priorities out of order)
7 Sewing (i am a rockstar seamstress)
8 Speakers (I bet I can play my music louder than the girls next door)
9 Stand Alone Complex (why is the knockoff series better than the original movie?)
10 Sephora (I can't go into that store without spending millions of dollars)
POst if you want a letter!
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Monday, February 11th, 2008
|
| Time: | 9:43 pm. |
| Mood: | cold. |
|
why does my favourite perfume have to be discontinued? I should've seen it coming; seriously,in the six months after the release it was in walmart for 10 dollars a bottle. unfortunately it's one of those fragrances that looks like a kiddie perfume but smells amazing on. And even more unfortunately it happens to be one of a dozen or so perfumes that J-lo produced. And even more more unfortunately last summer my mom decided she liked it, and used it all up! so i've been floating in a no-man's land trying to find a new fragrance that works as well with my chemistry as that one did. (i know that sounds fruity, but your own special body stink will affect how a fragrance smells once you put it on) le sigh.
in other totally frivolous news, I have all this fabric. it's getting messy and starting to pile up, so i'm going to actively start making clothes for myself. we'll see how this goes, because along with that i'm trying to revive my deviant art and put together a portfolio for application in the art specialization for fourth semester. (we get the opportunity to change focus from apparel to art in fourth semester, but you have to apply and they only accept 25 students) yeah, i'm not trying for too much i don't think.
it was 12 degrees this morning. i froze my cajones off
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
|
|
|
I am exhausted. I totally forgot today was ash wednesday, did not get smeared down with ashes, and completely forgot about fasting. Friday's in two days, I will do better. For lent I am giving up street fairs and vendors of questionable (yet shiny) merchandise. That may not sound like a sacrifice but I am incapable of passing a street vendor without feeling the gimmees. Now I am excluding vendors that sell food b/c omigod I can get awesome food for like no money from a guy with a cart (and b/c i have to eat out if i want to eat while at work).
I have to get up early and take some samples down to an embroidery shop, and then I get work my ass off and then I have to go to a really fucking insanely expensive department store (a jacket costs more than 2 grand there). i'm not looking forward to it, the place is like 9 stories tal- crazy.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
|
|
|
So you will all be pulling for the Giants to win, correct? You have 2 good reasons, well I have two good reasons-
1. I hate the Patriots. I'm sick of seeing them in the Superbowl. And I think their mascot is stupid.
2. The Giants have one of the Manning boys. With Archie Manning as his father it's kind of like being half of a Saint. Therefore if the Giants take it then the Saints win the Superbowl by proxy.
Edit: Okay, that was actually a shitty game up until the last 2 minutes or so. halftime=heartbreaking fail tom petty is so old!
|
|
2 traumatized felines - Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
|
|
|
This morning I decided to call a phone number. After about a 5 minute conversation, the person on the other end asked me to come in to interview for an internship position. I was so not prepared. I hadn't even brushed my hair, much less then assembled a portfolio. HOLY FUCK!
I actually the position, which is pretty awesome. But I had to work today, which was not awesome because I was wearing clothing designed for cuteness not running errands. I'll be working on wednesdays and thursdays- good bye off-days. you guys wanna hear the best part? i don't get paid. poo!
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Saturday, January 26th, 2008
|
|
|
Chicken pot pie. It seemed like a great awesome, what-the-hell-am-i-supposed-to-do-with-all-these-chicken-pieces, dinner solution. And it's really easy to put together and only ups my grocery bill by a couple of piecrusts. Except, I forgot to parboil the potatoes and the carrots before putting them into the shell and gravy to cook in the oven. Which means, right now, I have a pie in the oven whose crust will burn before the insides have cooked properly. My new solution involves placing a glass lid on top of the pie to prevent some of this heinous burning sensation. So far, so good. I need to get some aluminum foil though.
Disregarding all that, I feel like shit. My face is throbbing it hurts so bad *and I left my happy painkillers at home*. I actually did that on purpose, the stuff my dr. gave me killed the pain but made me feel crazy and hyperactive. Right now though, I would consider trading throbbing for hyperactive. Today however is the last day I take my steroids- what a happy day.
All things considered, it's not a bad day. And that pie is starting to smell like food.
( pot pie for the masses )
|
|
4 traumatized felines - Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
|
|
|
Surgery was a success, I'm down two wisdom teeth and in almost no pain. (I kinda feel sore and a little dizzy, kinda like if you hit your head really hard) I'm flying out on thursday and my classes start next monday. And Hooray! I have not been assigned a roommate! Bring on the schedule!
Monday:
8:10-11:00 Computer Fashion Design- Illustrator C227
12:10- 2:00 History of Western Art: Ancient to Renaissance B508
2:10-5:00 Draping, Soft Silhouettes C702
Tuesday:
9:10-12:00 Fashion Past and Present C611
12:10-2:00 History of Western Art: Ancient to Renaissance B508
2:10-5:00 Intro to Biology C812
Wednesday & Thursday- Off!
Friday:
9:10-1:00 Fashion Art and Design C705
2:10-5:00 Draping, Soft Silhouettes C702
Can you believe that's only a 14.5 hour schedule? I couldn't really add any more classes to my schedule b/c my block for next semester only counts for 6.5 hours. Complete bummer, so I'm taking this semester easy and saving my filler classes for next fall. (I still have to take a math and I want to take both footwear and intro to handbag design)
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Thursday, December 13th, 2007
|
| Time: | 8:23 pm. |
| Mood: | exhausted. |
|
IT'S OVER I have turned in my projects, used up all of my energy, and have completed another semester! Ta da. Tomorrow I'm gonna make an evening gown. (extracurricular) Well actually I'm going to start tonight and tomorrow start piecing it together. What fun. I still need a lining fabric.
I learned a valuable lesson the other day: don't argue with your cranky sicilian sewing instructor; he'll drop your letter grade even if you were right. Dick-head gave me a b for trying to sew on buttons before ironing my jacket, or rather he gave me a b because I insisted that I could do it my way and have it come out great. Like it matters- it's my only B class this semester.
mmmm kim bob. somebody needs to find a good korean restaurant on the northshore(i could be talked into going to new orleans)- I heart korean food. Kim bob is kinda like sushi but full of vegetables. the one i have right now has egg, crab, carrot, spicy kimchi and i think cucumber all rolled up like a california roll. it's soooo good.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
|
| Time: | 2:21 am. |
| Mood: |  unfortunately awake. |
|
It's Wendnesday. Early Wendnesday. I've just returned from the lab and can't milk this star trek joke any further. I'm too weak with fatigue.
Yeah, sorry I think it might have been funny when it was bourned. I have an eassy test tomorrow. Well it will be easy but I meant to type essay there. I haven't studied at all. I anticipate an A++...++++++. My dance teacher read my essay anthology to the class, I was quite pleased. I did good.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Saturday, December 8th, 2007
|
| Time: | 10:23 pm. |
| Mood: | exhausted. |
|
I'm allergic to something and I'm not sure what it could be... there is a major suspect but I'm having a hard time believing that the pine tree garland and wreaths on the bottom floor are so strong that just walking through the lobby make me itchy and nasty for hours. Maybe it's finals.
I made two jackets today. I'm feeling pretty awesome about it, I just need some pretty buttons to go on one and some 30's and 20's for the other. Both are due for wednesday. Can I get a woot woot?
Yesterday while I was walking to school, this guy (walking along the sidewalk in the opposite direction) started making animal noises at me. Like realistic barnyard goat and chicken sounds. It was pretty amusing- after I realized that it wasn't just me that was getting the attention he was doing it to everybody. The thing of it is, he looked to "planned" to be a random crazy-head. Does that sound weird? This guy, walking along cawing like a rooster, I'm convinced he was only pretending to be crazy. My reason? He didn't smell. Crazy/homeless people in New York Smell like the stinkiest armpit in the everything- you can literally smell them from a distance, this guy was like a normal person. (that and his clothes were neat and his hair was trimmed and all those other indicators of a rational thinking being)
I'm really tired but if I stitch my lining now, I can sleep in tomorrow morning.
|
|
Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
|
|
|
So after a conversation with allie, i looked on youtube to watch the magination cartoon.
holy shit
i swear to god, within 10 minutes i had two life lessons jammed up my nose and got to see my little ugger transformed into a trash talking naroom creature. It was exactly like pokemon, except the theme song wasn't as catchy.
And I got to thinking, am I that old or have i forgotten that kids shows sucked really bad. After an hour or so on youtube the answer is "sort of". I mean Shredder lives in the fucking epcot center with a disembodied brain. But he's one hell of villan- despite the fact that his robot henchmen are so ineffective it takes three of them at least to kidnap april o'neil. After the turtles I had to do a little care bear, some muppet babies, then I hit the ol punky brewster. right about at this time, my roommate walked in and caught me watching gummy bears.
( nostalgia ho! )
|
|
2 traumatized felines - Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
Monday, December 3rd, 2007
|
|
|
Yay, I finished my essay and shook off my redbull hangover. I hate that shit!! I swear that coming down from that feels exactly like being hungover. Never again. Anyhow, these three entries are part of my term paper. My PE teacher gave us a term paper. re-fucking-diculous. Anyhow, one of the topics was one about our impressions of dance and how we feel and blah blah blah. so I came up with the idea to write three short stories, each about a different type of dance, and give her the anthology in lieu of a regular essay. I think it's a fun idea and worse come to worse I can always re-write it "correctly".
( A Night Out )
|
|
1 traumatized feline - Lets bathe the cat!.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
penny_whistle's journal
confused.
hungry.
sore.
mmmmm painkillers.